your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
