we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
How external is "for external use only"?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Randomize
