Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Randomize
