So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
