There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
