Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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