god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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