I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
