Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
