I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
