He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
