The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
