Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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