Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
