matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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