When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
