no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
