We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
