That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
