so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
And the cops told us we were all naked.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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