We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
