So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I faked an abortion last night.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Randomize
