so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I am midnight drunk by noon
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
