I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
