how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
