Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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