My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Randomize
