in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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