Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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