Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
