Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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