i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
