Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
