So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
