She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
