The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
