I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I have surprise drugs for everyone
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
