im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
