I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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