We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
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