his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
