Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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