i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
