marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Randomize
