Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
soo... how was my night?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
