I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
