i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
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