Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
