yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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