Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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